


Jersey

by DestielSterekKazerBennguin (orphan_account)



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: M/M, sterek
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-10-05
Updated: 2012-10-14
Packaged: 2017-11-15 16:15:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 13,767
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/529154
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/DestielSterekKazerBennguin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>AU in which Stiles is 20 years old, living at home, and studying Criminology in college. Derek is his ex boyfriend who, on High School graduation day, told Stiles he never wanted to see him again and moved to Brooklyn. Stiles gets a call one day from his dad telling him Derek is back and is his Deputy. Stiles is trying every avoidance tactic in the book, but he can't avoid Derek forever. And Derek is trying his hardest to get Stiles to talk to him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. I'll Have You Know I'm Scared To Death

**Author's Note:**

> Title based on Jersey by Mayday Parade  
> 

Stiles was sitting in his room, writing an essay for his Criminology class, when his phone rang.

“Hey dad. What’s going on?” Stiles propped the phone up between his shoulder and ear while continuing to type.

“I have some news for you that you’re not going to like. I figured it’s better that you hear it from me now.” Sheriff Stilinski sighed. Stiles sat up straighter in his chair, reaching up to hold the phone.

“What is it?”

"Um... well I should’ve told you sooner but I wasn’t sure he would get the job and I knew you would be upset so I didn’t say anything and-”

“Dad, just tell me.” Stiles snapped, and instantly felt guilty. “Sorry. I have a paper due tomorrow and it's stressing me out. What happened?” he asked in a softer voice.

“Derek…um…Derek applied for a job at the station…and he got it. He’s my deputy.” Stiles was silent. Derek. Derek Hale. The Derek Hale that ripped his heart out, put it through a shredder, and then put it back together just so he could stomp on it and leave it in the dust. Stiles hasn’t seen him since he graduated high school 2 years ago. The night Derek told him he never wanted to see him again and moved to Brooklyn.

“Stiles? Stiles are you ok? I should have told you sooner I know and I’m sorry I just-”

“No..no I’m ok. It’s just…you know… I don’t have to see him do I?” Stiles knew his voice was shaky but there was nothing he could do about it. He still loved Derek. He had accepted the fact that he always would, but seeing Derek would still hurt no matter what.

“Well…actually, since he’s my deputy and he needs to be caught up on all of the cases…he’s coming to dinner tonight at 7.” Stiles froze. He knew his dad was still talking but he didn’t hear a word of it. _Derek’s coming to dinner tonight._ Stiles flipped the phone closed, his chest feeling tight. He stopped having panic attacks a long time ago, but he was feeling one coming. He forced his eyes shut and took deep breaths. Stiles flipped his phone back open and called Scott.

"Hey Stiles, sorry, but can this-"

"Scott it can't wait. Dad just called me and-"

"Stiles, seriously, the baby is crying and he won't stop. We changed him and fed him and burped him and tried giving him toys and cuddling but he wont stop crying!" Scott sounded on the brink of tears himself.

"Have you tried singing to him?" Scott was silent for a secong.

"Allison try singing to him." He said off to the side. After a few seconds the wailing stopped. "Dude, Stiles, you're the BEST! I don't know what I would do without you."

"Yeah, anytime buddy, but listen-"

"I'm gonna go take a nap while he's sleeping. I knew we made you the godfather for a reason!" Scott hung up on Stiles and his shoulders slumped. Stiles loved being the godfather to baby Isaac, but sometimes he just wanted his best friend back. He didn't blame Allison, but ever since Scott met her, their friendship hasn't been what it used to be. He at least got to be the best man at the wedding and the godfather to their baby, and Stiles is there for Scott whenever he needs him. He just wished that was reciprocated.

Stiles flopped down on his bed, feeling his eyes start to well up. He had stopped crying over Derek a year and a half ago, but his feelings were starting to come back to the surface. He hasn’t dated since then, but Derek probably had a different girl or guy(he’s an equal opportunist) every night. Stiles’s breath hitched at the thought. There is no way he can face him tonight. Especially because ever since Derek left, Stiles has felt like he has no one. Sure, he has his dad, Scott and Allison, but his dad's always working and Scott and Allison are busy with eachother and now the baby. He had no real friends at school so Stiles has gotten extremley aquainted with his laptop recently.

Stiles doesn’t know how long he laid there thinking about how much his life sucked, but the next thing he knew the front door was opening and male voices were drifting up the stairs from the living room. Stiles closed his eyes, preparing himself for facing Derek. He hopped off the bed before he lost the nerve and tentatively walked down the steps. He got to the last step before he looked up. Derek was standing there, next to the couch. Their eyes met and Stiles stopped breathing. His eyes were so beautiful. Those eyes used to look at him with affection. Derek was always good at hiding his feelings when he wanted to, but he had never hid them from Stiles. Even if he tried, Stiles was able to tell when something was bothering him. Not anymore.

He was also scruffier than Stiles remembered. Derek had always hated having facial hair, but now there was stubble covering the bottom half of his face. Stiles started to wonder what that stubble would feel all over his- _MAYDAY MAYDAY ABORT ABORT!_ Stiles turned and bolted towards the front door. He threw open the door to his jeep and scrambled inside. He started the engine before tearing out of the driveway, ignoring the image of Derek standing at the front door looking like a kicked puppy. 


	2. I'm A Wrecking Ball Crashing Into Your Heart Like I Do

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't even know how I managed this. I just kinda started writing and this ball of depression happened... and thanks everyone for the comments... I love you all :D

Stiles drove, not paying attention to where he was going. When he took in his surroundings, he realized he was driving to Derek’s old house. It was out of habit, he guessed. Whenever he and Derek used to have a fight, whichever one left first went to cool down and the other went to the house. They always knew where to find each other. He found a small part of him hoping that Derek would try to come find him, while the other part was horrified at the thought. Stiles came to the house all the time. On the anniversary of the fire that almost completely burned the house down, killing Derek’s whole family, excluding his sister, Laura, and uncle, Peter. On the anniversary of Laura’s death. On the anniversary of Peter’s death. Everyone knew not to look for him when he disappeared on those days. He wouldn’t leave the house.

Those were also the days he spent with Derek here. The first time Stiles woke up at 4am in a cold sweat, his first instinct was to call Derek. Derek didn’t answer the call, but sent a text saying “At my house.” Stiles knew which house he meant. Every year on those days Stiles would wake up at some odd hour before sunrise and go to the house.  
The past two years Stiles went there on the anniversary of the breakup. Their relationship had died, and no matter how much time passed, no matter how much he tried to convince himself that it didn’t, it still hurt like hell.

Stiles climbed out of the jeep and started to walk towards the front porch. He stopped, staring at the front steps. That was where he found Derek the first time, on the anniversary of the fire. Derek was lying on his side, facing the house. Stiles could tell he was crying, however silent he was. Derek hated to show weakness around people and the fact that he was willing to tell Stiles where he was, knowing that Stiles was going to see him crying, meant more to him than anything else ever could. Stiles had walked over and sat down behind Derek. Stiles reached up, running his hand up Derek’s back slowly. Derek was shaking. Stiles just wanted to throw himself on top of Derek and cuddle him to death, but instead he settled for threading his fingers through Derek’s hair and massaging. It was what Derek had done for him when his mom died.

It happened three months before the fire. He knew it was going to happen. She had cancer and the treatment wasn’t working. Stiles had bawled when he found out and ran out into the woods. Derek followed him and found him, sobbing and shaking, curled up next to a tree. Derek had scooped him up and carried him all the way to the Hale house. Derek’s mother had cooed and fussed over him, bringing him hot chocolate and cookies and candy and anything else she could think of while Derek held him on his lap. One arm was wrapped around his waist while the other was threaded through his hair. He had a buzz cut shortly after in honor of his mom. Every time he came to this house he was flooded with memories. He felt tears streaming down his face.

“How could you do this to me, Derek? I had just gotten used to not having you and then you come back.” Stiles choked on the words. The day was clear in his head. It was his graduation day and he was the valedictorian. Derek came to graduation and while Stiles was giving his speech everyone couldn’t help but notice the pride in Derek’s eyes. No one could have guessed that after the party Derek would take Stiles out to the Hale house and break Stiles’s heart.

“Stiles, I can’t do it anymore.” Derek had said. 

“What do you mean? You can’t do what anymore?”

“Us. I just… You just graduated high school. You’re 18. I’m 22. I think it’s time we move on.”

“What do you mean you think it’s time we move on?”

“You’re so young Stiles. I need someone closer to my age. I mean it was fun while it lasted, and I really do care about you, but I want someone more mature.”

“You just freaking told me yesterday that you love me!” Stiles protested.

“I care about you, Stiles, but I don’t love you. Maybe I did at some point but I just don’t feel it anymore.” Stiles stared open mouthed at Derek. He felt like his heart was ripped out and Derek was just standing there emotionless. He felt tears starting to well up in his eyes but he refused to cry. “I’m moving to Brooklyn in two days. I have a job there and I already sold my apartment here. Stiles I’m so-”

“Don’t you dare say you’re sorry. You’ve obviously been planning this for awhile. Well you know what Derek? Screw you. I’m going home.” Stiles turned and started walking towards the woods.

“At least let me drive you home.” Derek pleaded.

“I wouldn’t go with you if my life depended on it.” And those were the last words Stiles said to Derek before Derek left.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story isn't beta'd so I apologize for any grammatical or spelling errors.


	3. It's Been A Really, Really Messed Up Week

Stiles was still sitting on the porch of the Hale house an hour later and a half when his phone started ringing. Stiles didn’t want to answer it but he did anyway.

“Hello.”

“He left, Stiles. You can come back now.” His dad said. Stiles didn’t move at all.

“Why did he come back, dad?” He knew his voice was broken and sad, barely a whisper.

“This is his hometown Stiles. He has every right to be here. I know he hurt you but you can’t just say no and make him leave.”

“Very supportive, dad. Thanks.”

“I’m just telling you like it is. It sounds like he’s going to be here permanently so you’re either going to have to make up and be friends, ignore him completely, or leave town yourself.” Stiles was silent for a minute, thinking about that. “Stiles don’t even think about it.” the Sheriff sighed.

“You don’t even know what I was thinking.” Stiles retorted, but it sounded apathetic even to his own ears.  
“You were thinking about leaving and I’m not going to let you leave town just because Derek is back.”

“He certainly had no problem leaving.”

“Stiles, you’re 20 years old and you’re acting like you’re 12. And you are definitely not on your way home so if I don’t hear your car start within the next 30 seconds I’m bringing handcuffs and cuffing you to the post of that house you’re at.” Stiles sighed and got up, walking towards his jeep.

“Fine, I’m coming.” Stiles got about halfway to his jeep when he spotted Derek. He was leaning against a tree next to the jeep. There was no way Stiles could avoid him outside of ignoring him completely, which he was seriously considering. He hung up on his dad, which was a bad move, because now he can’t even pretend not to notice Derek. Stiles walked to the driver’s side door and was about to pull it open when Derek spoke.

“Stiles?” It was a barely-there whisper that Stiles could’ve easily ignored, but he felt his heart constrict and knew there was no way he was going to be able to get out of this.

“What?” Stiles’s tone was sharp but he didn’t care.

“Stiles, please talk to me.” He heard Derek take a step forward and tensed. Derek must have seen it and he froze.

“I have nothing to say to you.” Stiles said, finally turning around.

“I’m so-”

“Don’t. Say it. If you were sorry then you wouldn’t have left. You’re such a jerk Derek. What gives you the right to just come waltzing back into my life?”

“I came back for you.” Derek’s eyes were begging Stiles to believe him.

“Hah! After two years of being gone you just decided one day ‘Oh, hey, I kinda miss Stiles. I’m gonna go back home.’? It doesn’t work like that Derek. You don’t have that right.”

“I would never have left if you didn’t want me to. If you had tried to stop me I would have stayed.”

“Oh, great, yeah that’s perfect. Now blame it on me. You know how low my self-esteem is. If you tell me that you don’t love me then I’m going to believe you and you knew that. You freaking knew that and you told me you don’t love me. So you know what Derek? Whether or not you _meant_ it doesn’t matter. It matters that you said it knowing that I would believe it. If you really cared about me you would have never said that and you would have never left. You didn’t even give me a good reason for leaving. Just that you didn’t love me anymore. So you, my not-friend, can go suck a duck for all I care. And leave me alone.”

After his rant Stiles climbed into his jeep before Derek could answer and drove off. He didn’t drive home, but instead he drove to Scott’s. It was around 9pm so hopefully the baby was asleep. He really needed his best friend. He pulled into their driveway and walked to the front door. He knocked so the doorbell wouldn’t wake up the baby if he was asleep. Scott opened the door.

“Hey, Stiles. What’s- Dude why are you crying?” Scott’s eyes widened while staring at Stiles.

“What are you talking about? I’m not crying.” Stiles argued.

“Dude, I can see you. You’re totally crying.” Stiles lifted his hand and wiped his face and sure enough, his face was wet with tears.

“Crap. I hope I wasn’t crying when I was talking to him.” Stiles muttered.  
“Talking to who? Dude do you have a boyfriend that I don’t know about?” Scott’s eyes widened even more. “Wait…the only time I’ve ever seen you cry was when you’re mom died and when Derek…” Scott trailed off.

“Derek’s back. He’s on the police department with dad now.” Stiles started to explain until Allison walked up behind Scott.

“Aren’t you at least going to let him in, Scott?” She smiled at him and Scott got the dopiest look on his face. Stiles didn’t even have enough energy in him to roll his eyes. Allison turned to him. “Come in Stiles. You called earlier but Scott was so excited about nap time that he hung up on you, I guess.” She smiled at him and Stiles managed to smile back. They went into the living room and sat down on the couches.

“So anyway, dude, what’s going on? What’s Derek doing back? And why is he working for your dad?” Scott asked. Stiles was shocked that Scott was able to think that much. He loved the guy but Scott was an idiot sometimes.

“He says he came back because of me.” Stiles managed to keep his voice even.

“He WHAT?” Scott shrieked and then quickly covered his mouth, looking the direction of the bedroom where Stiles assumed the baby was asleep. Out of everyone who was angry at Derek for leaving Stiles like he did, Scott came in a close second to Stiles himself.

“He said he came back because of me and that he never would have left if I had tried to stop him. He said he still loves me.”

“Well what did you say?”

“I said he was a jerk and he would never have left if he loved me. And he knew I would believe him when he said he didn’t love me so it didn’t matter whether or not he meant it. And then I left.”

“Do you believe him?” Allison asked softly. Stiles opened his mouth to answer and then snapped it shut. Did he believe him?


	4. It's Hard When It Feels Like You're Broken And Scarred Nothing Feels Right

“I…I don’t know. I don’t think I do. But…why would he just suddenly come back?” Stiles’s voice was small.

“Because he’s playing with you, Stiles!” Scott exclaimed.  
“Hey, you don’t know that. Maybe he really does care. He could’ve just needed some time alone.” Allison was always the voice of reason.

“Two years is a lot of “alone time”. He was probably with tons of people while Stiles sat here alone.” Scott never really thinks before he speaks. Stiles slumped down in his chair and covered his face with his hands.

“Scott! That’s a horrible thing to say!” Allison scolded but Stiles waved his hand dismissively.

“Don’t worry about it. It’s something I’ve thought about. A lot. For the past 2 years. Every day. But I have a 10 page paper on schizophrenia due tomorrow at 10am and I have 5 pages done so I better get home and finish it. Stiles stood up and Allison hugged him.

“It’ll be okay Stiles. You guys can work it out. I know you can.” Allison smiled sweetly at him.

“He even tries to come near you again I’m going to hit him in the head with a baseball bat. Not enough to kill him but just enough to knock him out so he loses some memory and doesn’t know who hit him. I have a son to take care of, after all.” Stiles stared at Scott while he said this. Since when did Scott get all protective of Stiles?

“Okay, buddy, calm down. I doubt he’ll try too hard. But seriously, I have to finish that paper. Tell baby Isaac that Uncle Stiles says hi.” Scott grinned at the thought of his baby. Stiles patted him on the back and walked back out to his jeep. When he sat down he sighed and ran his hands through his short hair. How had he and Derek gotten to this point? They were together for three years! No one had understood their relationship.

Stiles had been 15 when they met. Derek was 19. They met because Derek was training to become a police officer and was job shadowing Sheriff Stilinski for a week. They had hit it off instantly. Stiles was the sophomore in high school who never shut up and Derek was the sophomore in college hardly ever said a word. Stiles had a crush on Derek but he knew nothing would ever come of it. He was 4 years younger, after all. He wished someone could have taken a picture of his face the first time Derek asked him out. Derek was blushing and stuttering while Stiles stood there smiling like a loon.

“So..uh…Stiles… t-that new, uh, that new movie that came out? The one about the girls that moved into the, uh, the house right across from the one where people were murdered? I was going to go see it this Friday night and I wondered if, uh, if you would want to go with me. Since it’s your birthday and all.” Derek had kept his eyes on the ground the whole time but Stiles wanted to scream with joy. Stiles didn’t answer, too busy thinking about all the different ways making out in the dark theatre could possibly happen, while Derek started to fidget. “You don’t have to if you-”

“No! No I want to!” Stiles squeaked. “You’re paying right? Cuz I totally don’t have any money ‘cuz I’m 15, you know? Plus it’s my birthday so you should pay ‘cuz I’m turning 16 and it’s my sweet 16 and I would love to spend all night with you and I can’t believe I just said that I just mean I would love to go to the movie with you. But only if you pay.” Derek’s face brightened and his mouth turned up at the corner.

“I’ll pay. And you might want to think about taking your Adderall before we go.” Stiles’s mouth gaped open.

“Did Derek Hale just make a joke? Broody, moody, sourwolf Derek Hale? No, it can’t be.” Derek raised his eyebrow.

“Sourwolf?” He questioned.

“Yeah, your hair’s all scruffy like a wolf and you’re always so mad looking so sourwolf fits. Plus wolfs are my favorite animal and you’re my favorite best friend besides Scott because I’ve known Scott since, like, ever.” Derek smiled and walked over to Stiles.

“See you Friday, Stiles. And don’t forget your Adderall.” Derek whispered low in his ear.

Stiles shook himself out of the memory, starting his jeep. His drive back home was spent in silence thinking about what to do. If he trusted Derek he risked trusting him again. As bad as it was, Stiles knew it wouldn’t take much for him to start trusting Derek again. He was going to avoid him for as long as he could, but if Derek ever did somehow get Stiles to forgive him, he was going to have a lot of explaining to do.

 *******************

Stiles pulled into the parking spot at his university. He only had one class today and he was anxious to get it over with. His mind was on other things, namely Derek. Stiles sat in his usual spot, by himself, in the middle of the classroom. He was pulling his notebook and essay out of his bag when a voice came out of nowhere.

“Hey, Stiles.” Stiles flailed, something he refused to admit he still did. His heart was racing as he looked at the blonde girl next to him. She had on skimpy, almost see through clothes and was leaning over, obviously showing off her, ahem, assets. Stiles met her eyes, ignoring the fact that she was twirling her hair around her finger and batting her eyelashes.

“Uh hey.” He replied. She flashed him a smile.

“I’m Erica. Erica Reyes. We went to high school together, remember?” Stiles looked at her closer. Oh. This Erica was totally different than the girl he knew in high school. The Erica he knew has stringy yet frizzy hair, wore baggy clothes and had no friends.

“Oh, yeah. Hey Erica. What’s going on?” Stiles didn’t want to be rude, but this new side of Erica was kind of freaking him out. Especially with the predatory way she was smiling at him.

“I just wanted to say hi. I heard you’re single now and I was wondering if maybe you would want to change that? We could set up a date to meet. I’m very, ahem, flexible.” She grinned slyly at him, making Stiles even more uncomfortable.

“Sorry Erica, I-” Stiles was interrupted by the professor calling the class to attention. Stiles glanced at Erica while she sat next to him, practically sitting on his lap, and she winked at him. Stiles sighed. This was going to be a long year.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So Erica admitted that she had liked Stiles in high school so I'm going to be playing around with that... maybe involving Jealous!Derek... and in most fics Lydia and Stiles are friends, which is perfect, but I wanted to try Lydia being Derek's friend that he met in Brooklyn and make her the one who finally convinced Derek to "stop being a baby and go back to Stiles". I'm also going to try to incorporate Boyd, Jackson and Danny in here somewhere, I just don't know how yet.


	5. You're Turning Heads When You Walk Through The Door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for how short this is. I'm extremely busy this weekend but I'm trying, I promise :)

Stiles was walking down the aisle of the grocery store trying to find some healthy-while-still-tasty food. Stiles refused to let his dad shop now because his dad really needed to watch his cholesterol and whenever John shopped for his own food the cabinets were stocked with junk. He was just reaching out to grab a box of Cheerios when he felt a hand on his shoulder. Stiles glanced up and met the eyes of Jackson Whittemore. He hadn’t seen Jackson since high school but he looked exactly the same. He had the same cheekbones and the same Adonis body. The only thing different was that he was smiling at Stiles. Jackson was kind of a jerk in high school. He was the captain of the lacrosse team, which Stiles was on although he sucked, and was the most popular guy in school. There wasn’t a day that went by that Jackson didn’t abuse Stiles, physically or emotionally. So it was weird that Jackson was looking so pleasant.

“Hey, Stiles, how ya been?” Jackson beamed at him.

“Um, hey Jackson. I’ve been good. How about you?”  Stiles was unsure of how to respond to this new side of Jackson. He was more used to being slammed into lockers or being called all sorts of names.

“Good, good. You’re looking good Stilinski. You got some muscle now.” Jackson reached up and touched Stiles’s arm. Stiles was slightly uncomfortable but he had to admit that when he first realized he was attracted to men Jackson was one of the first crushes he had.

“Yeah, well, I had to get a job to help pay for college so I worked outside this summer.” Jackson smirked at him.  
“Look, Stilinski, I have to go. I have dinner with my family.” Jackson pulled his phone out and brought up his contacts. “Here, put your number in. I’ll call you some time.” Stiles did, still not understanding what Jackson was up to. Stiles handed gave Jackson his phone back and Jackson smirked again. “See you soon Stiles.” And he walked away. As soon as he was sure Jackson was out of hearing range Stiles pulled his phone out and called Scott.

“Hey, Stiles.” Scott greeted.

“What. Just. Freaking. Happened.” Stiles managed to get out.

“What? Was it Derek? What did he say?” Scott’s voice was getting more frantic by the second.  
“No it wasn’t Derek. Jackson Whittemore just stopped me in the store. He said I looked good and then got my phone number. There was no physical pain involved at all.”

“Dude, Jackson? I thought he moved to LA.”

“He said he just moved back. Dude I’m freaking out. I don’t even know.”

“Didn’t you like him during high school?”

“He was a jerk in high school.” Stiles avoided answering.

“But you thought he was hot. I saw how you looked at him. Just admit you wanted to jump him.” Scott was teasing, but he knew he was right.

“Ok, so maybe he was hot, but I mean have you SEEN him? Washboard abs, bro. You can’t tell me that’s not hot.”

“Maybe if I liked guys but, if you haven’t noticed, my wife is significantly lacking man parts.” Stiles snorted and rolled his eyes.

“Whatever, man. Live in denial all you want. I’m going to get back to shopping.” Stiles hung up before Scott could respond.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So thanks to Adrian for commenting "Oh and yeah loving how your using the other characters, but I think jealous!Derek would be much more jealous if Stiles was dating a guy (and not Erica). Someone like Jackson? with the perfect cheekbones and body of a Greek god and all the money..."  
> It was a brilliant idea and I decided to use it.  
> Be warned: Jackson is probably going to physically hurt Stiles at some point which will hurt me to write but it will help me get the story where I need it to go...  
> Don't hate me


	6. Tonight Your Memory Burns Like A Fire With Every One It Grows Higher And Higher

“Stiles?” John knocked on Stiles’s bedroom door where Stiles was currently lying on his bed rethinking his life choices.

“Hey dad. Come in.” Stiles responded, sitting up. The Sheriff opened the door and leaned against the door frame. “What’s going on?”

“I have a request to make of you.” The look on his face was extremely concentrated but also troubled.

“Sure. What is it?” Stiles was cautious. He had a feeling he wasn’t going to like this.

“It’s about Derek.” Stiles carefully schooled his face into an expressionless mask.

“Ok.” Stiles affirmed.

“I know you hate him, and think he’s a jerk and I’m trying to be considerate of your feelings. I honestly don’t know what you went through when he left. You hardly talked to anyone besides Scott for a whole year. It’s just- the guy has no one. No friends, no family.”

“Yeah, well, you know what? It’s his fault he has no one. He had me for three years and then he left. That’s not my fault. I wasn’t the cause of him leaving and he knows it. He feels guilty or something for leaving and he wants me to feel bad too because he thinks I’m going to be sympathetic. If he really cared and wanted me to forgive him then he would have actually tired to apologize instead of blaming me. ‘I would have stayed if you tried to stop me.’ That’s bull. He had already sold his apartment. He knew he was going to leave no matter what. He can go screw himself.” Stiles stopped, face flushed and breathing hard. John waited a minute before speaking to make sure Stiles was finished with his rant.

“Stiles, I know he hurt you.” John started softly. “You have every right to be upset. That’s why I’m warning you this time. Dinner didn’t go so well last time. After you left Derek couldn’t focus on anything. He’s coming over again tonight for dinner and he’ll be here in three hours. You can choose to stay or go out tonight. If you decide to stay then you don’t have to talk to him. You can pretend he’s not there for all I care. Just…think what’s best for you. Hopefully being around him a little bit will help you get past him. Who knows, maybe he’s changed in the time he was in Brooklyn.” John gave Stiles a small smile and then walked out. Stiles sighed and flopped back onto his bed. He had a hard decision to make.

 **************************

Stiles decided to stay. His dad was right. There was no way Stiles was going to get past Derek if he couldn’t even look at the guy without crying. About an hour before Derek was supposed to be there Stiles wandered downstairs. Sheriff Stilinski was sitting at the table looking over a case file. While the police weren’t too busy these days there was a body found in the woods. The coroner said the corpse had been mutilated by a wild animal, most likely a wolf. Which…odd…a wolf in California? Not likely. They couldn’t decide whether or not it was a psychopath or another animal that attacked the person. John looked up from the file warily. Stiles smiled at him.

“It’s okay dad. I’m staying. But just know, if he tries to make conversation with me I might just flip the table and storm out.” John grunted his agreement and went back to rereading the file. Stiles wandered into the kitchen to find something to make for dinner. He finally decided on his favorite- Cheese Nip Chicken. It was what he was best at making and why not show Derek just what he missed out on when he dumped Stiles.

Stiles was just pulling the chicken out of the oven when the doorbell rang. His heart started to beat faster and he nearly dropped the chicken.

“Deep breath, Stiles. You can do this. Show him what he’s missing.” Stiles psyched himself up. He carried the chicken to the table and set it down. He was about to turn back to the kitchen to put away his oven mitts when he glanced up. He and Derek locked eyes and neither one could move. Stiles watched as emotions flashed across Derek’s face- happiness, sadness, regret, guilt. Stiles gasped from lack of oxygen, he had stopped breathing, the moment effectively broken. He turned and fled to the kitchen. He put the oven mitts back into the drawer and turned. He took a deep breath and marched back into the dining room. John and Derek were already sitting down at the table so Stiles sat down next to his father, as far away from Derek as possible at the small table.

“Cheese nip chicken, huh?” The sheriff’s eyes were sparkling with happiness. “You haven’t made this in a long time.” Stiles kicked his dad under the table as discreetly as he could. The point was to make Derek feel bad, not to make him feel special.

“I missed it. Mom made it all the time, remember?” Stiles knew it was a low blow. His father’s eyes dimmed and his smile disappeared. Stiles looked down at his food, losing his appetite. John turned to Derek, discussing one of the cases. Stiles didn’t pay attention to what they said, instead focusing on the sound of Derek’s voice. No matter how much he despised Derek his voice had always calmed Stiles down when he was upset.

He remembered the nightmares after his mother died. Stiles would wake up in the middle of the night crying and the first thing Stiles did was call Derek. Derek always answered no matter what time it was or what time he had to wake up the next morning. He would talk to Stiles until Stiles fell asleep. Sometimes he would sing Stiles’s favorite song. On some occasions, on the nights Stiles was inconsolable, he even drove over to Stiles’s house and held him until his sobs calmed to slight whimpers.

Stiles was startled by John standing up. He gave Stiles an apologetic smile before walking into the kitchen. Stiles’s eyes shot over to Derek before firmly landing on his plate. There was a few seconds of blissful silence until Derek spoke.

“Stiles?” Derek started softly. Stiles lifted his head so fast he almost gave himself whiplash.

“Don’t.” Stiles gritted out. “Just don’t.” Derek’s shoulders slumped, looking like a kicked puppy.

“Stiles please.” Derek’s voice was barley there. “I’m sorry.”

“Derek, just don’t. Sitting in the same room as you is hard enough. I’m not ready to have this discussion yet.” John walked back in with two beers in his hand right as Derek tried again.

“Stiles…” Stiles stood up so fast that his chair tipped over. He spun on his heel and stalked towards the staircase, locking himself in his room until Derek left.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In the first few chapters I felt like I made Papa Stilinski too harsh so I kind of softened him.
> 
> As a side note I heard the song Come Wake Me Up by Rascal Flatts today and everything about it reminds me of this story...it's perfect.


	7. I'm Just A Little Impaired I Know Right Now You Don't Care

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm pretty sure there are only one or two more chapters... It depends on how the next chapter goes and if I get inspired to write more. Happy endings and feels will happen soon

Stiles listened as Derek’s car started. He walked to the window to watch him pull out of the driveway. Derek paused, looking up at Stiles, before smiling sadly and driving away. Stiles sighed, flopping back down on his bed.

“Stiles you’re twenty years old. Stop acting like you’re five.” Stiles scolded himself. He knew he had acted immature at dinner but he had asked Derek not to go there. He knew Derek was trying to apologize but Stiles wasn’t ready to hear it yet. He’s been ignoring his feelings for Derek for two years. He wasn’t ready to talk about them yet.

“Stiles are you okay? I know that wasn’t easy for you.” John said, standing outside the closed door.

“Dad you can come in.” The door opened and John walked in, sitting down in Stiles’s desk chair. “Sorry I stormed out. I just, uh-” Stiles stopped, not knowing how to explain.

“You don’t have to tell me Stiles. It’s okay.”

“No…no I… I should’ve talked about it a long time ago. I really did love him, dad.” Stiles felt tears start to well up. “It nearly killed me when he left. I didn’t… I almost couldn’t deal with it. At least when mom died I knew she didn’t choose to leave me. Derek didn’t want me anymore. He told me so himself. That hurt more than anything else.” John sighed sadly.

“Stiles there’s something you should know. Before Derek left-” John was interrupted by Stiles’s phone ringing. Stiles flailed, flipping the phone open without checking the ID.

“Hello?”

“Hey Stiles. It’s Jackson. You up for having dinner tonight?” Stiles’s eyes bugged out.

“Oh…uh I already had dinner.” Stiles was at a loss for words. Jackson grunted. “But we could go tomorrow night?” Stiles was startled. Startled that Jackson just casually asked him to dinner and startled that he had just agreed.

“Cool. I’ll pick you up at 7.” And Jackson hung up.

“What was that about?” John asked.

“Apparently I’m going to dinner with Jackson Whittemore tomorrow night.”

“Jackson Whittemore as in the Jackson that beat you up in high school?” John’s eyebrows rose in concern.

“Well…yeah… I saw him at the store the other day and he asked for my number. I assumed he was kidding…”

“And you’re going to dinner with him?” Stiles nodded. “Just…be careful. Remember that I’m the sheriff.” John warned. Stiles grinned at him.

 ****************************************************************

Jackson pulled up to Stiles’s house exactly at 7pm the next night. Stiles cautiously got into the car, not sure what to expect. The sudden interest from Jackson wasn’t exactly comfortable, although Stiles enjoyed it.

“Hey Stiles.” Jackson smirked at him, his eyes traveling down Stiles’s body. Stiles squirmed, not used to the attention.

“Hey.” Stiles jumped a foot into the air when Jackson’s hand slipped onto his knee.

“Relax, will you? You act like I’m going to hurt you.”

“Well we don’t exactly have a peaceful history.”

“Yeah but that was high school. We’re past that.” That was the closest thing to an apology Stiles was going to get. They sat in silence until 5 minutes later they pulled into the parking lot of a fancy restaurant that Stiles had never been to. He couldn’t even pronounce the French name of the restaurant. Stiles raised his eyebrows.

“Okay there is no way I can afford this.” Stiles blurted, face turning red. Jackson snorted.

“That’s the whole point of a date, Stilinski. I’m paying.” Jackson always managed to make you feel inferior with just a look. They walked in and got seated in the nearly deserted restaurant. Jackson was looking at Stiles like he was a piece of meat about to be eaten and Stiles started squirming again.  
“You really have gotten muscles, Stiles. I bet you even have abs under that shirt.” Stiles felt like he was being mentally undressed based on the look on his face.

“So anyway what happened with you and Danny?” Stiles blurted, trying to get the predatory look of off Jackson’s face. He succeeded. Jackson’s eyes darkened.

“He broke up with me when he went to college in Texas. Said he didn’t want a long distance relationship. What about you and Hale? Thought you guys were gonna get married or something.” Stiles winced.

“He broke up with me after my graduation party.” Stiles mumbled.

“Really? Harsh.” Jackson’s eyes focused on something behind Stiles. “Well looks like we have some company.” Stiles turned, locking eyes with Derek. He was with a girl, around Stiles’s age. She was strawberry blonde with pouty lips and a definite confidence in her countenance. She was definitely a genius in disguise. And he had her arm looped through Derek’s. Stiles knew he shouldn’t be hurt. He knew he shouldn’t be so upset to see him with someone else considering he himself was on a date. But it felt like his heart was breaking all over again. Tears sprang to his eyes and he shot to his feel. He ran towards the door ignoring Derek’s call of “Stiles, wait!” He got to the parking lot and leaned up against Jackson’s car. He was NOT going to have a panic attack. Nope, not because Derek was with an insanely pretty girl. Never because of Derek. Jackson walked out of the restaurant looking extremely angry.

“What the hell was that about? Did you just run away from Derek because he’s with a girl? You just humiliated me.” Jackson was getting into Stiles’s personal space and Stiles moved away from him.

“Jackson, I’m sorry. I panicked. I still have some feelings for him. I didn’t mean t-” Stiles was cut off short by Jackson slapping Stiles. Considering Jackson was two times stronger than Stiles it hurt. It hurt a lot. In fact Stiles was sure that there would be a bruise there. Jackson grabbed Stiles’s shirt collar, tugging him so they were almost nose to nose.

“You’re a loser and I’m so much better than you it’s ridiculous. I was only going out with you to get in your pants.” Jackson shoved Stiles and Stiles fell to the ground. Jackson grabbed him roughly by the wrist, tugging him back up. “Get in the car. I’m taking you home.” Stiles did as he was told. No one had ever outright hit him before. He was slightly in shock and slightly scared for himself. It’s not like he couldn’t defend himself if he wanted to, but he didn’t want to cause himself unnecessary harm. He honestly shouldn’t have expected anymore from Jackson. They pulled up in front of his house and Stiles scrambled out of the car. He ran up to his front door, making sure the cruiser wasn’t in the driveway before going inside. There was sure to be marks on his face and wrist and he really didn’t want to explain to his dad what happened. Stiles trudged up to his room and collapsed on his bed. He was going to go to bed and do nothing the next day, classes or not. His last thought before drifting off to sleep was that tomorrow was the anniversary of his mother’s death.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know some of you said you would hate me if I made Jackson hurt Stiles but it was necessary...I'm sooory...but I promise it will get better in the next chapter. It involves Derek and Stiles bonding time and cuddling and singing and crying and feels


	8. Don't Make This Easy I Want You To Mean It

Stiles woke up at 3am in a cold sweat, heart pounding, and tears streaming down his face. He had this dream every year, once a year. It seems no matter how distracted and stressed he’d been recently his subconscious wouldn’t let him forgot about his mother’s death. Stiles blindly reached around for his phone before remembering. He couldn’t call Derek anymore. Stiles rolled off of his bed, his breath only short gasps, and stumbled to the door. The house. He needed to go to the house. He was still dressed from when he came home last night, shoes and all, so he just grabbed his keys and ran out to his jeep.

It wasn’t until he was about halfway to the house that he started sobbing. It had been almost four years since his mother had died, yet it still felt like it happened yesterday. Stiles pulled up to the house before turning his jeep off and nearly falling out of it. He didn’t even know why he always came to the house. Although Mrs. Hale and his mother were friends his mother never really spent much time there. There was just something about it that made him feel safe. Stiles made it to the second porch step, still sobbing to the point of not being able to breathe, when the front door opened. Derek was standing there looking sadly at Stiles. Stiles charged towards Derek, pushing him inside before they both fell to the ground.

Derek ended up sitting on the floor with Stiles straddling his lap. Stiles had a death grip his shirt and was crying hysterically. Derek wrapped his arm around Stiles’s waist, the other cupping his head. Derek didn’t say a word, knowing Stiles wouldn’t be able to handle it right now. He let Stiles cry it out. A few minutes later Stiles was finally calmed down.

“Why are you here?” Stiles finally asked.

“I’m living here.” Derek whispered. “I’m fixing it up.” Stiles pulled back to look at Derek.

“You’re _living_ here?” As much as Stiles loved the house, the place was a dump. As mad as he was at Derek he shouldn’t have to live here. “Does my dad know?” Derek shook his head. “Why now?”

“Because I know your dad. He would have offered to let me stay with you two. I knew you wouldn’t want that.”

“Derek you can’t be serious.” Maybe it was because Stiles was emotional right now, but he was concerned about Derek. “What if it had rained?”

“The basement is still intact. I’ve been staying there.” Stiles just stared at Derek. Derek lifted his hand and touched Stiles’s face. Stiles winced at the sharp pain. He had forgotten that Jackson had hurt him. “Stiles.” Derek’s voice was dangerously calm. “That shouldn’t have hurt. Why did it hurt?” Derek couldn’t see Stiles’s face in the very minimal light, only his silhouette.

“Oh, it’s nothing. Just last night I kind of got hurt.” Stiles tried to keep his tone light. He knew Derek didn’t believe him for a second.

“Jackson.” Derek snarled his name. He made a move to get up but Stiles stopped him, tears starting to fall again.

“Derek, please don’t. Please!” Derek stopped moving, looking at Stiles. He was angry but he didn’t want Stiles to be mad at him. “Just…sing to me.” Stiles rested his head against Derek’s shoulder. Derek slumped, wrapping his arms around Stiles again. He knew that in the morning Stiles was probably going to hate him again and he definitely wasn’t going to do anything to speed that up. Derek paused, picking a song, before he started to sing.

_I can usually drink you right off of my mind but I miss you tonight._

_I can normally push you right out of my heart but I’m too tired to fight._

_Yeah the whole thing begins and I let you sink into my veins_

_And I feel the pain like it’s new._

_Everything that we were, everything that you said, everything that I did_

_And that I couldn’t do plays through tonight._

Stiles knew this song. He used to listen to it all of the time after Derek left. It had been a long time since he had listened to it. It had always made him cry and hearing Derek sing it in that beautifully tragic, heartbroken voice nearly made Stiles break down again.

 

_Tonight your memory burns like a fire_

_With every one it grows higher and higher_

_I can’t get over it_

_I just can’t put out this love_

_I just sit in these flames and pray that you’ll come back_

_Close my eyes tightly_

_Hold on and hope that I’m dreaming_

_Come wake me up_

 

Stiles pulled back, looking into Derek’s eyes. They were shining in the moonlight, the only part of Derek he could see clearly. Derek was crying too. Stiles shook his head.

“Stop Derek.” Derek went completely silent. “Just…don’t say a word. I miss my mom. I want someone to hold me. I… I want you to hold me. Just don’t talk. We’ll talk in the morning, but right now just hold me.” Derek nodded and Stiles relaxed against him. Derek’s hands were running up and down his back and it didn’t take Stiles very long to drift off to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song is Come Wake Me Up by Rascal Flatts. Because it's perfect.


	9. 'Cause All Along I Knew You're Sorry But You Haven't Said It Yet

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This hit me in the feels writing this. Also I thought this was going to be the last update but I was wrong. I just couldn't end it yet

Stiles woke curled up in a ball on his bed. He nuzzled further into his blankets and was about to drift off to sleep before he realized: _This is not where I went to sleep._ His eyes snapped open as he took in his surroundings. He was in his room, in his bed, and he was only in his boxers. So that either means that whole ordeal was a dream or Derek had brought him home and undressed him. He was suddenly extremely angry. He sat up and flailed his arms out hoping to find his phone. It was sitting on the night stand with a note taped on it saying “ _I had to go to work. If you still want to talk then call me. If not, I understand.”_ Stiles groaned, flipping his phone open and dialing Derek’s number.

“Hey.” Derek’s voice was soft, cautious.

“When do you get off work?” Stiles knew he sounded resigned. He couldn’t force himself to even try to sound any different. He just wanted to get this over with. If he and Derek could work it out and be friends then fine. If not, then it’s better to get all of the left over tension out of the way.

“In about 20 minutes.”

“Come over.” Stiles hung up, not waiting for a response. Now it’s up to Derek. If he shows, woohoo. If not, oh well. It was noon so Stiles had about half an hour to get ready. He went about his morning routine, taking extra long in the shower. By the time he got out and dressed the doorbell was ringing.

Stiles took his time getting downstairs to the door, psyching himself up. When he finally opened the door his eyes widened. Derek was disheveled. The light in his eyes was barley there. There were black rings around his eyes, showing he hadn’t gotten much, if any, sleep. His hair was a mess and his uniform was wrinkled.

“What happened to you?” Stiles blurted. Derek’s eyebrows rose.

“I didn’t sleep very well.” His voice was gruff, yet still soft. He didn’t want to risk snapping at Stiles and making him angry again. Stiles rolled his eyes.

“Why not? You obviously wasted no time bringing me home.” Stiles didn’t mean to say it. He didn’t even know that was how he was feeling until it was out in the open. He was hurt that Derek had so easily left him. Derek looked like a kicked puppy and Stiles felt a pang in his chest, although he would deny it until he went to his grave.

“I brought you home about ten minutes after you fell asleep. I stayed with you all night until I had to go get ready for work.” Derek’s voice was barley there at all now. He wasn’t _trying_ to make Stiles feel bad. Stiles knew that. He would have never said anything if Stiles hasn’t brought it up first. Derek’s eyes kept trailing to Stiles’s cheek and then down to his wrist. There were still bruises there from what Jackson had done the night before. That sparked a memory in Stiles. A wave of anger came over him.

“Who, may I ask, was that girl with you last night?” Derek’s eyes shot to meet his. “You know, the pretty strawberry blonde girl with the pouty lips and the smart aura about her? I’m sure you remember her.”

“Her name is Lydia. She’s from Brooklyn. There’s nothing going on there, Stiles. She was the one who finally convinced me to come back here. She said I ruined my life, and yours, and that I was an idiot for ever leaving you.” Derek was gaining confidence, which was odd. Stiles thought that, being confronted about the girl, Derek would shy away again. Not that Derek was insecure by any means. Derek was hot and he knew it, he was just very careful around Stiles because of the current situation.

“Oh, so she had to convince you to come back? What happened to _‘I came back for you Stiles.’_ , huh?”

“I did come back for you! I wanted to come back the day I left. I didn’t because I knew you would hate me. I didn’t think I could handle it, seeing you look at me like you wanted nothing to do with me. The way you looked at me when you walked down those stairs the first time I came over. I almost turned around and went right back to Brooklyn. There is nothing in this world that could hurt me more than that did.” Stiles felt tears prick at his eyes.

“Why?” His voice was broken and soft. “Why did you leave? What did I do that was so bad?” Derek stepped inside the house, closing the door. He was about two steps away from Stiles, making sure he had Stiles’s full attention before he started.

“It wasn’t your fault. You can never believe it was your fault. I-I was broken, Stiles. You had just graduated from high school. You had so much of your life ahead of you! You were at the point where you had to make some really tough decisions. You were choosing your college, your career, setting the course for the rest of your life. If I had stayed you would have based your decisions off of me. I wanted you to be able to do what you wanted without me around.”

“That’s not your decision to make! It’s my life, Derek! I can make my own decisions and you don’t get to do that for me! I wanted you to be a part of my life. If I based my decisions off of that then it’s exactly that. _My_ decision.” Stiles was breathing hard, the tears actually starting to fall.

“I just wanted what’s best for you. I didn’t want to ruin your life.”

“Yeah, well, you did that anyway. Derek, you chose to leave me. Do you know what that feels like? You know what it’s like to lose someone. You lost your whole family. I lost my mom. They didn’t have a choice in leaving us. You did. Maybe you did it with good intentions but you could have at least done it without making me feel like trash. I started having panic attacks again. I didn’t tell anyone, not even Scott. I bottled everything up because the one person that was my whole world didn’t want me anymore. I felt insignificant and unloved and I spent practically a year just trying to feel happy again. I was finally getting my life back and then you showed up again. And you know what? No matter how much I try to deny it, you’re still my whole world.” Derek started to reach out to Stiles before pausing and dropping his hand. Stiles couldn’t even begin to describe the world of sadness and pain in Derek’s eyes. “I don’t want it to be over.” Stiles couldn’t stop the words from coming out of his mouth.

“It’s not over.” Derek growled, grabbed Stiles, and pinned him to the door. “It was never over.” Derek leaned forward, lightly pressing his lips to Stiles’s. He was giving Stiles plenty of time to protest, but Stiles never did. Derek pressed Stiles against the door, body to body. Stiles moaned, threading his fingers through Derek’s hair. They stayed like that for a minute, lips to lips, body to body. Stiles finally broke away, tears falling freely, and rested his forehead against Derek’s.

“I’m not ready, Derek.” He whispered. Derek tried to pull back, give Stiles space, but Stiles wouldn’t let him. “It hurts. I’m willing to forgive you, but it’s going to take some time. We need to just take it slow. There are going to be boundaries that are not, under any circumstances, allowed to be crossed. If you can respect that and be patient then we might be able to figure this out. I’m not making any promises and I’m not saying we’re officially back together but we can try.” Stiles felt Derek’s shoulders relax. Derek wrapped his arms around Stiles’s waist and Stiles relaxed against him. They don’t know how long they stood there like that, but they didn’t move until John’s cruiser pulled into the driveway.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks, everyone, for the constructive crit and love...you're all amazing!


	10. Someone Please Sing This Lovesick Melody

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is really really really short, I know. I apologize but I'm writing another story(that isn't posted yet) right now and it's been invading my thoughts all day

Stiles and Derek broke apart at the sound of the car door. They moved away from in front of the door so that John could get in. Stiles cleared his throat.

“I should…um…get lunch ready. Dad’s probably gonna have to leave after lunch.” There was a promise in those words while Stiles looked at Derek, a question is his eyes. Derek smiled at him, the corner of his mouth twitching upwards. He nodded knowing that Stiles was asking if he was staying and Stiles grinned before he could stop himself. His feelings were totally the opposite of what they had been this time yesterday. It made his head spin realizing just how happy Derek could make him. No one should be able to do that to him. Stiles turned toward the kitchen as John opened the door. Stiles didn’t turn around, hiding his grin from his father. Derek saw as John’s eyes flicked between them suspiciously, finally landing on Derek. John raised his eyebrow and all Derek could do was grin. John smiled in response and shook his head fondly. When Stiles was out of earshot he finally spoke.

“Are you two okay?” He asked quietly.

“We talked and he said we could try. It’s a start, I guess. We’ll see where it goes from there.” The Sheriff nodded.

“Good. But just so you know, if you hurt him again, I know where to hide a body. The only reason I tried to help you in the first place is because I know about that ring in your pocket.” Derek’s eyes went comically large and his mouth dropped open. John smirked at him.

“H-how did you…?” Derek trailed off.

“I saw you pull it out once at the station. I figured either it was for Stiles or you were secretly married. Then I saw you pull his picture out and stare at it like it was the most precious thing on Earth.” Derek looked like someone had just announced his deepest, darkest secret to the whole world and the Sheriff’s voice softened. “What can I say? I have a soft spot for people who love my son.” Derek smiled lightly, still embarrassed.

“I was going to come ask your permission before…before I decided to leave.” The light in Derek’s eyes dimmed, still feeling guilty. “I couldn’t do it, Sheriff. I love him so much. I felt like I wasn’t giving him a choice.”

“I understand, Derek. I always understood but you hurt him bad, son. He would never have listened to me if I tried to explain to him. You could have come back sooner. That might have made it easier for him to accept it. You’re gonna have to work really hard to gain his trust back after that. He loves you too, no matter what he says. He pretended to hate you the whole time, and he _was_ mad at you. He may have felt like he hated you but you don’t react that way unless you love someone.” Derek’s heart stuttered. John knew Stiles better than anyone, except maybe Scott. To hear John say that Stiles loved him gave him hope that he could fix this.

“Guys I made sandwiches! Come eat them! They’re fantastic!” Stiles yelled from the kitchen. John and Derek grinned at each other before walking to the kitchen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been thinking about Derek secretly having a ring since I started this story so I had to put it in here somewhere :)


	11. My Universe Will Never Be The Same

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A lot of you loved the part about the ring and there will definitely be more about that later on.

Derek and Stiles were sitting on Stiles’s’ couch. Stiles had his feet up on Derek’s lap and Derek was leaning against the armrest. This was their first ‘date’ since they decided to try again. Stiles didn’t know about the ring, ever present in Derek’s pocket, and Derek wanted to keep it that way… for now. He didn’t want to pressure Stiles into anything, and, knowing Stiles, a panic attack could be imminent. They were watching The Avengers, Stiles’s choice, but Stiles couldn’t focus on it. There was something on his mind that had been bugging him for a few days, but he didn’t know how to bring it up to Derek. He finally decided to just go for it.

“Derek?” He asked quietly.

“Hm?” Derek grunted, eyes immediately focusing on Stiles.

“So I’ve been wondering…about that girl you were with the other night.” Derek raised his eyebrow but didn’t look otherwise concerned. That calmed Stiles down. At least Derek wasn’t getting defensive.

“Her name’s Lydia. I met her in Brooklyn at the museum.” Derek started to chuckle. “She was lecturing a 90 year old woman about how the Phèdre painting wasn’t ‘A beautiful work of art but a beautiful depiction of love that should never be.’ I started laughing and then she started to lecture me about art. We hit it off.”

“Oh.” Stiles replied. He didn’t know how to react to that. What did he mean by hit it off?

“Hey, don’t worry about it. We talked about you at least once every time we were together.” Stiles looked up hopefully into Derek’s eyes. “I told her stories about you. I showed her pictures. I even told her about-” _the ring_. Derek stopped himself from saying. “About the house.” Stiles at up, looking at Derek contemplatively. After a few seconds he stood up. Derek’s eyes widened, thinking that Stiles was going to walk away from him, but Stiles only sat down closer to Derek. He cuddled up to Derek and Derek wrapped his arms around him. “She wants to meet you.” Derek said softly.

“Why would she want to meet me?” Stiles questioned.

“Well when we first met I wasn’t exactly…amiable. I was kind of a jerk to everyone I met. She was the only one who stuck with me long enough for me to open up. She was my only friend out there. Whenever I was in a particularly bad mood she would always bring you up and laugh at me. She says she wants to meet the guy that could make my face light up like that.” Stiles smiled and snuggled closer to Derek.

“She sounds awesome. I wanna meet her. Where is she?”

“That night after dinner she flew back to Brooklyn. She said there was obviously some stuff going down and she was going to let me deal with it without me worrying about her. She’s really is kinda awesome.” Derek’s face suddenly became dark, his eyes going to Stiles’s cheek.

“What?” Stiles’s hand went to his cheek, his eyes widening.  
“Jackson.” Derek’s voice was rough and Stiles could practically see the storm clouds roll through his head.

“Derek, don’t.” Stiles commanded. “Just let it go. It’s not a big deal. Yeah, he hit me, but it doesn’t matter. I haven’t talked to him and I apparently ‘humiliated’ him so I doubt he’s going to be talking to me any time soon. It’s not like he scarred me for life or anything.”

“I don’t like the thought of him touching you at all. I want to rip his throat out, Stiles.” Derek covered Stiles’s hand with his own, his thumb stroking over Stiles’s wrist. “You’re dad would agree with me.” Stiles’s mouth dropped open in panic.

“No! Don’t tell dad!” Derek sighed, resigned, and nodded.

“I won’t for now. But if it happens again he’s going to end up in a body bag.” Stiles nodded.

“Well good thing it’s not going to happen again because I don’t want my boyfriend to end up in jail.” Derek froze. His face cleared instantly and a grin broke out on his face. Stiles turned his head to look at him. “What?”

“Boyfriend?” Derek couldn’t keep the hope out of his voice and grinned back at him.

“Well, duh!” He elbowed Derek’s ribs and Derek was courteous enough to pretend it hurt. Derek’s face was practically glowing and it made Stiles’s heart beat faster. He shifted, swinging his leg around Derek’s waist so he was straddling him. He brought his hands up to Derek’s face and just held it. Derek’s eyes were shining like sunlight reflecting off of water and he couldn’t stop smiling. He was hardly ever so happy and it, in turn, made Stiles happy. He slowly leaned down and softly pressed his lips to Derek’s. They hadn’t kissed since that day they made up. Stiles had forgotten how their lips fit together perfectly. It made him feel warm and fuzzy, like sleeping in on a snowy day. Stiles whimpered when Derek’s tongue swiped across his. Derek growled in response, his arms wrapping around Stiles’s waist. He pulled Stiles close. They stayed like that for a long time, just kissing. They never took it further than that, even when they were dating. Not only was it illegal to do anything more, Stiles was a virgin and wasn’t comfortable with doing anything yet. He had figured they would have plenty of time to do _those_ things.

They were so wrapped up in each other that they didn’t hear the front door open. John cleared his throat behind them. Stiles flailed, and if it weren’t for Derek’s arms around him he would have ended up on the floor. As soon as Stiles calmed down he scrambled off of Derek’s lap.

“Uh…hey dad.” He said sheepishly. “What’s going on?” John rolled his eyes but there was a smile pulling at the corners of his mouth. Derek got up after Stiles.

“I should probably get going.” Derek said. “I have to work tomorrow.” Stiles was a little disappointed until Derek leaned down and pecked his lips one more time. “Good night Stiles.” Derek walked over to John and they shook hands before John pulled Derek into a hug, slapping his back playfully. Stiles grinned happily at the sight as Derek walked to the door. He waved one more time before walking out and closing the door behind him. Stiles turned to John. John laughed when he saw the dopy grin on Stiles’s face.

“What?” Stiles asked. John shook his head.

“Nothing. I’m just glad to see you happy again.” Stiles walked over to his father and hugged him.

“There’s some left over Cheese Nip Chicken in the fridge. I didn’t have time to make dinner.” John raised his eyebrow. “Shut up dad! I’m going to bed.” Stiles went through his pre-bedtime ritual more lighthearted than he had been in awhile. He finally went to sleep with a smile on his face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lydia is going to be in the next chapter. Stiles finally gets to meet her. Woot!


	12. Amber Lynn Won't You Be Mine?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This took me forever to write but I must say I'm kind of happy with it

For the next few days Stiles and Derek didn’t see each other. Stiles had class and whenever he had off time Derek was working. Stiles wasn’t _pining_ per se, but he missed Derek. He spent two years without the guy and now that he finally had him back he wanted to spend lots and lots of time with him. Although there was a small part of him that questioned Derek’s motives. He had _forgiven_ Derek almost immediately, but he was still having a hard time _trusting_ him. But, he was meeting Lydia tonight and he was going to make it a point to get her alone and ask her some questions about what exactly happened in Brooklyn.

Derek would be there any minute with Lydia. They decided on an informal night so they were just having dinner at Stiles’s house. Stiles didn’t want to cook so they ordered take out and picked out a few movies to watch. The food was warming in the oven and Stiles was preparing to get it out when the doorbell rang. A few seconds later it opened.  
“Stiles?” Derek’s voice called.

“I’m in the kitchen!” He yelled back. He heard footsteps coming towards the kitchen and his heart started thudding. Lydia was Derek’s only friend for two years. What if she didn’t like him? What if she secretly loved Derek? What if Derek secretly loved her? The thoughts caused him to stand up too fast. He stumbled backwards and nearly dropped the food. An arm wrapped around him from behind, steadying him. Stiles set the food down on the counter and leaned back so his head was on Derek’s shoulder.

“Why must we meet like this?” Stiles asked, grinning. Derek rolled his eyes but he was smiling fondly.

“Because you’re nuts.” Stiles stuck out his bottom lips, pretending to pout. Derek’s smile slid off of his face while he stared at Stiles’s mouth. Stiles slowly, purposely, licked his lips. He couldn’t help the small smile of triumph when Derek’s eyes darkened. Someone cleared their throat behind them and Stiles flailed away from Derek. It was Derek’s turn to pout now. “Lydia you’re a jerk.” He said playfully.

“Excuse me for not wanting to stand here and watch you two make bedroom eyes at each other.” The girl responded. Stiles took a good look at her for the first time. She was about an inch shorter than him with strawberry blonde hair and amber eyes. There was still an aura about her that you could just _feel_ how smart she was. All in all she was beautiful, brilliant, and going by what Derek said, awesome. Queue Stiles being intimidated. Her eyes met Stiles’s and she grinned. “So this is Stiles?” Derek practically beamed at her, nodding.

“Yup, this is Stiles.” Lydia stepped forward, her eyes running over Stiles’s body. She started to circle him while Stiles stood as still as a statue.

“Hmm, I can see why you like him. He’s cute in a…puppy kind of way.” Lydia finally stopped in front of him. She reached up and grabbed his chin. “And his mouth. He has very kissable lips.” Derek growled at that and she laughed. “Not to me, stupid.” She stared at him for a moment before smiling. “I approve. I see what all the fuss is about now. I can’t believe you ever left him.” Both Derek and Stiles tensed but Lydia had already turned toward the food. She picked up a plate and got herself some lasagna before bouncing away to sit on the couch. Stiles turned to Derek and raised his eyebrows.

“I can see why you like her. She’s very intimidating, like you.” Derek scoffed.

“I’m not intimidating.”

“No, maybe not, you’re just a sourwolf.” Stiles smirked. He hadn’t gotten to use that nickname in years. Derek glared at him but Stiles followed Lydia’s lead and got himself some food, going to the living room. He flopped down next to Lydia and she glanced at him. Her eyes shot to the kitchen before meeting his.

“He loves you, you know.” She said, offhandedly, looking back towards the movie she had already started playing. Stiles squeaked and blushed. “The only reason he didn’t come back sooner was because-” she cut off as Derek walked in. Stiles stared at her for a few seconds. _The only reason he didn’t come back sooner. She knows._ He thought.  Oh, he was _definitely_ going to talk to her alone. They ate their food and watched the movie in comfortable silence. Well, _watched_ is a relative term. Stiles spent his time looking between Derek and Lydia. He was too distracted to actually care what was going on in the movie. About halfway through the movie Stiles couldn’t take it anymore.

“Derekkkk will you go get me something to drink?” Stiles whined. Derek looked at him for a few seconds, then sighed. He stood up, taking everyone’s plates, and walked to the kitchen. As soon as Stiles was sure he was gone he turned to Lydia. “Why didn’t he come back sooner?” Lydia barely glanced at him, still focused on the movie.

“Because he thought you hated him.” Lydia said simply. Stiles’s brow furrowed. He already knew that. Derek had said as much. Lydia must have sensed that, because she sighed dramatically. “Look,” She said, turning towards him. “He _loves_ you. He never stopped loving you. He spent practically every minute of every day thinking about you, talking about you, or staring at the ring.” Stiles’s eyes widened.

“What ring?” Stiles’s voice was small, not daring to believe what he thought she meant. Her eyes widened, looking at the kitchen door.

“He hasn’t told you about the ring?” She sounded confused, which, in Stiles’s opinion, she had no right to be. _He_ was the confused one.

“What ring?” He repeated.

“Well when he first told me about you it was because I found him sitting on his couch staring at a ring. I asked if he was married and he said no. He said he had bought it a year before he left. That he bought it for someone he loved more than life itself. He said it never got put to use because he screwed everything up by leaving. He eventually told me that it was for you. He always has it with him no matter where he goes. He probably even has it now.” She stopped when Derek came back in. Stiles…didn’t know how he was feeling. Numb was a good word. Derek had a _ring_. For _him._ He turned to Derek right before he sat down.

“Can I see it?” He asked. His voice was a perfect monotone. Derek froze, eyes darting to Lydia then back to Stiles.

“See what?” Derek’s voice was scared. He knew what Stiles was talking about, but he was hoping desperately that it wasn’t true.

“The ring.” Again, a perfect monotone. Derek hesitated, feeling very helpless. Finally he reached in his pocket and pulled it out, handing it to Stiles. Stiles held the ring gingerly, like he would break it if he was too rough. He inspected the ring, turning it all over and holding it close to his face. Finally he looked up, then stood. “Oh.” He says. He starts the hand the ring back to Derek before swaying and passing out onto the couch.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So to the people who think Stiles forgave him too easily, I hope you are at least somewhat appeased. I'm kind of trying to bring this story to a close soon so I don't want to drag this out too long.


	13. You're The One That I Want

Stiles woke up to murmuring voices. He couldn’t make out what they were saying, but one voice, the male voice, sounded worried while the female voice sounded bored. When he finally opened his eyes he had to slam them shut again. The light made his head pound.

“Stiles?” Derek’s frantic voice was right next to his ear. Stiles grunted and squeezed his eyes shut tighter.

“Turn the light off.” He finally managed to mumble. The light immediately clicked off and Stiles sighed in relief, finally opened his eyes. Derek’s worried face was mere inches from his and he couldn’t help but reach up and pat his cheek. Derek’s face smoothed in relief, but there was still worry in his eyes. “Did I hit my head?” he asked.

“Yeah on the arm rest. Why? Does your head hurt?” There was a slight hint of panic in Derek’s voice.

“Yeah, kinda, but I think I’ll live.” An awkward silence fell as they looked between the three of them. Finally Derek broke it.

“Stiles-”

“Does my dad know?” Stiles interrupted. He thought it was odd that that question was the first one to come to mind. Derek hesitated before nodding.

“Yeah your dad knows.”

“So you told him but you didn’t tell me?”

“I didn’t tell him. I had it out at work one day and he saw it. I didn’t know until he called me out on it a few days ago.” Stiles nodded thoughtfully before looking at Lydia.

“Lydia could you give up a few minutes?” Lydia raised one perfect eyebrow before shrugging and walking out of the room. Stiles turned back to Derek and Derek flinched at the hurt look in Stiles’s eyes.

“You had this ring a year before you left?” Derek nodded. “Then why did you leave?” Derek sighed.

“I left because you would have said yes.” Stiles’s eyes narrowed.

“You didn’t _want_ me to say yes?”

“I wanted you to say yes more than I’ve wanted anything else in my entire life.”

“Then _why_ Derek? What does that _mean_?”

“It means you would have said yes. We would have gotten married. You would have gone to school and I would have gone to work. Then soon you would get a job, maybe we would move somewhere else for your job, and you would eventually wish for something better than me. I couldn’t do it. I had to give you a choice.” Stiles slapped Derek and Derek jerked backwards, almost falling over.

“Will you _stop saying that?_ ” Stiles shouted, getting to his feet. “You didn’t give me a _choice_ by leaving! You made up my mind for me that I wasn’t going to be with you! Now you come back talking about giving me choices and letting me make up my mind but you _still_ don’t get it, Derek! You’re the only one! There _is_ no one else!” Stiles stopped, breathing hard. He could see Lydia peeking around the doorway from the corner of his eye but he didn’t care. It wasn’t like he was being quiet.

Derek didn’t, _couldn’t_ , say anything. He stood staring at the beautiful person in front of him. He didn’t deserve Stiles. Stiles was perfect in every way and Derek was an idiot who hurt him on a regular basis. Yet, no matter what Derek did, Stiles always forgave him. He didn’t deserve that kind of love from anyone, especially Stiles.

“Stiles,” Derek’s voice was soft and broken even to his own ears. “I couldn’t do that to you. I wanted to give you a choice because you deserve _so much better_. When I left I hoped it would be the last straw. I hoped you would move on and find someone better than me. That’s why I stayed away for two years. I was afraid of coming back and finding you with someone else, but at the same time I was afraid of coming back and finding that you still wanted me. I didn’t come back with the intention of trying to get you to forgive me but I couldn’t live with myself knowing you were _right here_ and that you hated me.” Derek stopped, feeling tears spring to his eyes. If he kept talking he was going to cry and he didn’t want Stiles’s sympathy. He turned his back to Stiles about to walk out the door when Stiles spoke.

“Derek.” Stiles didn’t sound angry anymore, but he didn’t sound particularly happy. “You’re always pushing me away because you don’t think you’re _good enough?_ ” Stiles sounded like he didn’t believe a word of it. “That is the biggest load of crap I’ve ever heard. Yeah, you’re a jerk sometimes, and yeah, you hurt me sometimes but, dude, really? You do it because you think you’re doing what’s best for me. Even though I usually don’t appreciate it I understand why you do it. Don’t you ever say you’re not good enough. That hurts me more than you leaving did because if you’re not good enough then I must an amoeba on a flea on a rat.” Derek whirled around and grabbed Stiles’s chin, gently but firmly. “Didn’t like that very much, huh sour wolf? That’s exactly how I feel.” Derek dropped his hand and looked at Stiles helplessly.

“I just…don’t know what to do.” Derek admitted. Stiles threw his arms around Derek and nuzzled his neck.

“Don’t leave me ever again. You’re the only one I want. I’m never going to change my mind. But if I do, don’t worry, I’ll let you know.” Derek chuckled softly and slid his arms around Stiles’s waist, rubbing his cheek against Stiles’s hair.

“I won’t leave you again.”

“Promise?”

“Promise.”

“I love you.” Derek’s heart skipped a beat when Stiles said it. He couldn’t contain the grin and he pulled Stiles closer.

“I love you too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't actually expect to end it in this chapter but it felt like the right time. The next chapter will be the epilogue showing a glimpse into the future and then it's over. That's for sticking with me through this, for the constructive criticism, and all of the love. If you liked it then I'm currently working on another Sterek story called Sleeping At The Wheel : http://archiveofourown.org/works/537603/chapters/954663  
> if you are interested


	14. Why Don't We Break The Rules Already?

_BEEP. BEEP. BEEP. BEEP._ Stiles groaned and flailed around trying to find the alarm clock. He managed to knock it off the side table, but not turning it off. He groaned, making fake crying noises and the arm around his waist tightened. Derek’s nose trailed up the back of Stiles’s neck and he shivered.

“Turn it off.” Derek grunted.

“I can’t turn it off until you let me go.” Derek somehow pulled Stiles closer to him.

“Never mind. Leave it.” Stiles laughed.

“I have to get up, sour wolf. I have a 30 minute drive to work, and I am _not_ going to miss breakfast again.” After the night Stiles found out about the ring he and Derek had gotten better. They hardly ever fought, and when they did, they were quick to make up. About a year after that night Derek had officially proposed and Stiles had said yes. A year after that they finally got married. Scott had finally accepted and forgiven Derek and had even let a 2-year-old Isaac be the ring bearer in the wedding. Scott was the best man and, even though there wasn’t a bride, Allison had insisted on being the maid of honor. They had a moment of silence in honor of Derek’s family and Stiles’s mother that couldn’t be there. Their honeymoon had been in Spain, where Stiles had always wanted to go.

Since there really was no job for someone who studied Criminology around their area, Derek and Stiles had moved about an hour away where Stiles got a job as a criminal profiler. Derek had taken a job in their new town as a deputy. They had been married for a year and were currently in the process of adopting a 2 year old boy named Danny.

“Call off.” Derek licked a stripe up Stiles’s neck and Stiles whimpered.

“Hah, nice try buddy, but I’m still considered new and if Boyd suspects I called off work while I wasn’t sick he would have my head.” Derek growled.

“It’s Friday. Not fair.”

“Yes, I know, not fair. _You_ need to go back to sleep before you pull a muscle with all this talking. You’re really straining yourself with all those two word sentences.” Again, Derek growled, opening one eye.

“Call off.” Derek repeated. His arm was firm around Stiles’s waist and Stiles knew he was fighting a losing battle. When Derek made up his mind there was no way to change it. He was as stubborn as an ox.

“Fine but let me get the alarm. Derek loosened his arm just enough so that Stiles could reach down and grab the still blaring alarm. Stiles set the alarm back on the table and relaxed against Derek. Derek nuzzled into Stiles’s neck and practically purred with happiness. Stiles grabbed his cell phone and dialed his boss’s number. The secretary picked up. “Hey Alexis, it’s Stiles, I’m not coming in to work today. I’m not feeling too well.”

“Ok, I’ll tell Boyd. Have fun with Derek.”

“ _What?_ ” Stiles squeaked. He could practically hear Alexis roll her eyes.

“You know exactly what. See you Monday, Stiles.” Alexis hung up and Stiles sat his phone on the bedside table. He sighed dramatically while Derek continued to nuzzle him.

“You know, when we get Danny we’re not going to be able to do this.” Stiles informed Derek. He felt Derek’s grin and Derek kissed his neck.

“That’s why we’re doing it now.”

“Wow six whole words! You’re getting better!” Derek bit at Stiles’s neck and effectively shut him up. Stiles sighed happily and shifted around so he was nose to nose with Derek. Derek quickly kissed Stiles’s lips.

“I love you Stiles.” Stiles grinned.

“I love you too, sour wolf.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The End.
> 
> Find me on tumblr as destielsterekshipper

**Author's Note:**

> I've never actually attempted to write a chapter fanfic so be forewarned: This may or may not suck. Please give me feedback :)  
> Chapter titles from:  
> 1\. Jersey- Mayday Parade  
> 2\. Hard To Love- Lee Brice  
> 3\. Tonight, Tonight- Hot Chelle Rae  
> 4\. Moves Like Jagger- Maroon 5  
> 5\. What Makes You Beautiful- One Direction  
> 6\. Come Wake Me Up- Rascal Flatts  
> 7\. Unwell- Matchbox Twenty  
> 8\. Jasey Rae- All Time Low  
> 9\. Anywhere But Here- Mayday Parade  
> 10\. Bruised and Scarred- Mayday Parade  
> 11\. Glad You Came- The Wanted  
> 12\. Amber Lynn- Mayday Parade  
> 13\. You're The One That I Want- Grease  
> 14\. Some Nights- Fun.


End file.
